An Awakening in Five Acts
by SalvaVeritate
Summary: You're like a drug, Kathryn. Tell me a secret... Tell me how to give you up.
1. Act 1: Parting

**They don't belong to me. They belong to Roger Kumble. I wish I could have Sebastian though.**

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**Act 1: Parting—**

_"Do you hate me, Sebastian?" _

_"I don't hate you. You know I never can." _

_"Good. After this night you are dead to me." _

_The kiss lasted a lifetime and she scraped him raw. _

_Her mouth is a cavern of warm champagne. _

_Eyes endless in its depth. _

_She whispered something in his ear as she prepared to leave the room. _

_He's asleep. What did she tell him? _

_A hand gripped the photograph of a pretty blonde with trusting blue eyes. _

_This time the word was clear but the sound of tearing drowned it out. _

_"Traitor."_

_

* * *

_

He knew he shouldn't have yielded to it.

But still, Sebastian Valmont relived that night as though it happened mere seconds ago. The milk skin shining with perspiration, the softness of the firm hills that had adorned her body and commanded for his touch and his worship just as the owner did, his ears heard the murmuring of his name above all else, above all dirty words and rancorous affections, an oxymoron yet it had completely made sense.

___"Bastard." _

___ "Traitor." _

All these words came out in whispers, cried out in wild abandon, in what she recognized to be the one last intimate moment she would share with the man who had been hers and hers alone. Now he belonged with another. To another. He was no longer hers and she knew it.

Sebastian told himself that it was merely out of curiosity that he indulged in her, that she was like a one final hit to an addict as a way of saying goodbye. There had been many who'd come and gone before him, but it had been in his opinion that they were merely nothing to her and therefore there was no need for the jealousy he'd felt. Now that he had had her, things would be able to remain in the past.

Still, the image persisted in his mind night after night, even in the days he spent entwined or inside of Annette Hargrove. Sometimes he looks into his girlfriend's eyes and sees green instead of blue, recognizes mischief instead of innocence and lust instead of love. What had happened that night between him and Kathryn? That was the last time they'd spoken to each other, but it was also the first time she'd looked at him that way… Her beautiful face poignantly set about in a reminiscent smile while they joined over and over again, thighs rested on his muscular ones while they sat, the battle for dominance coming to a complete standstill. It was the first time she'd said his name so softly, a breath of truth escaping her sheltered nonexistent heart. (The mythical object that would have been made of impermeable metal and melting Ice.), the first time she'd touched him not to seduce but to endear, was she spinning another web to capture him in again? To lure him back to a domain where everything was based on power?

That's what he told himself every time he saw her going about her life as it had always been (the paradigm of blue blooded upbringing and social power), utterly unfazed by his presence and never batting an eyelash when Annette was in the same vicinity.

_"Don't hold back."_

Ever since the terms of the bet had been completed and there were no debts to be paid, he had ceased to exist in her world. He was greatly annoyed by this, to once sit on the right side of the queen who reigned above everything good and ideal in society while she spread discord in secrecy only to be reduced to a mere acquaintance who was only to be addressed only when necessary and only to be addressed in such a manner that would insinuate politeness and not the complex history they'd shared. Where were the tapestries of colored threads that had been spun and kept during their time together? Where were the secret smirks, the knowing glances, the silent challenges and double insinuations that were once habitual for the both of them?

None. As in a philosophical sense, what has gone and died only remains in the record of those who chose to keep the memories and that was what his journal did. That which is deceased no longer resides, and therefore it mustn't be expected and acknowledged. Whenever Kathryn accidentally brushed into him, she kept her sharp tongue, preferring the usual expletive before he would say something equally nasty in return but she would already be far too gone to hear it.

Why must he be bothered by such thoughts? Why must he be bothered if they see each other in social functions and she seems apathetic at his presence? Why must Sebastian take her indifference as an indication of the cheapening of their bond in the past? That night was over. His life with Kathryn was over.

Ties were severed. Bridges were burned.

He should know. He started the fire.

The girl snuggling contented beside him gave a squeak of surprise when his entire body shot up in an immediate reaction as a familiar brunette passed by.

"What is it?"

He felt his heart grow warm at Annette's voice and shook his head to dismiss her question. A loss of a cherished companion for something new… Yes, he realized and understood that. As he cupped Annette's face and gently caressed her soft cheek with his thumb lovingly, they were interrupted by a sudden bump of someone passing and he looked up.

The music from Blaine's party was so loud but it had never bothered him before, and when he turned up to glare at the moron who had invaded his personal space, the blue in his eyes turned to ice.

The one who had been responsible for interrupting his time with Annette had an arm wrapped around Kathryn's waist.

His annoyance increased and he wanted desperately to look away, but he couldn't. The feeling of her acknowledgment for being there, the fact that this was probably the longest time Kathryn had looked at him since they parted ways made him feel accepted again. Odd as it may sound, it was a nice feeling.

"Sorry, man." The guy said, but his attention was already on the brunette beside him. Understandable of course.

Kathryn took her eyes away from him and he ceased to exist in her world once again, the tangible young man who'd stared at her probingly again shattering into thousands of pixels before dissolving into the smoke of drugs and cigarettes.

There was a small part of him that was deeply hurt by this obvious snub but he reminded himself that he had done the right thing. He was in love with Annette Hargrove and proved this point by making love to his girlfriend later that night without any thoughts of his stepsister or their estranged nature.

That night when his tongue teased hers he could have sworn he tasted champagne.

Annette never drank.

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**A/N: This'll be really short. I was trying out something new and well, this is what came out. Hope you like it. Wish me luck, I'll be having my midterms this week!  
**


	2. Act 2: Disillusionment

**Act Two: Disillusionment— **

_He grabbed her arm. _

_"You don't have to leave." _

_There was an unreadable look from her as he said it. _

_Her stare was so powerful he craved to decipher the meaning. _

_Kathryn wanted to scream: _

_"Don't you realize the irony of your words?" _

_But she remained silent. _

_Instead she yanked her arm away from him but her feet don't touch the floor. _

_"We're just fucking." _

_A cold answer. _

_His expression was bitter and she congratulated herself for it._

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Nobody thought he would last this long.

Sebastian Valmont and commitment can't be uttered in a single sentence without one finding the statement erroneous and preposterous in nature. Apropos that fact about him, it would then prove to be a bewildering phrase if I were to tell you that as of today, Sebastian Valmont and Annette Hargrove have been dating for four months.

Girls envied Annette. Guys scoffed at Sebastian. Romantics sighed at the way he looked intently at her while she spoke during their lunch hour. Pessimists, mostly his former conquests, rolled their eyes and predicted that in a week's time with the right slut, Valmont's pants would come down and another girl would replace Annette Hargrove. Kathryn Merteuil, on the other hand, defied any category but her reaction was duly noted.

She didn't care. She never wavered when he passed by her table while his hand held Annette's, the only reaction was the uncrossing of her legs and another tinkling laugh at something one of her many companions had said. Her boyfriend nibbled on her neck while the others showed their acceptance of the happy couple at their table. Even she looked pleased at Brandon David, but Sebastian didn't like the fact that the guy seemed too possessive of her. There was something steely and not at all trustworthy at the way the jock's jaw clenched when one of Kathryn's male companions ogled at her, his fingers were clenching and unclenching in an almost passive aggressive manner.

The sound of her laughter was low and amused; somewhere he knew she wasn't laughing at the joke but at the crowd and how it sucked up to her. Months ago he would have shared that private joke with her, now he was ostracized from the world nobody else had entered except for him. The voices became hushed when he'd passed by and he was certain that he caught the words 'pussywhipped' and 'waste'.

"Oh, leave my brother alone." She commented, brushing back her silky hair. "I'm sure there are other things better to talk about than his fall from grace."

Today was their fourth month and Annette looked especially pretty today, even opting to put a small amount of makeup that exuded her fresh faced good looks. Sebastian realized this and they were about to go to his car when Kathryn's words stopped him cold. It wasn't the insults or sneering that affected him after all, because he could care less about what the others thought. Her comment had a lilting, airy tone to it yet there was also something... Something he couldn't quite get but he knew there was something more to it that it seemed. It was only a few meters from her table and he turned his head to look at her.

She was looking at him again.

"Are you happy now?" she spoke. Her voice was strong and clear and directed to him.

His heart jumped in his throat, then suddenly Annette seemed wrong, the feeling of her hand in his seemed forced, too routine. Her pretty face didn't incite such new and profound feelings of affection as it had done before.

These are the symptoms of a dying relationship.

He needed to breathe. He needed to get out, to pry Kathryn's gaze off him because it suffocated him as much as Annette's wide smile and trusting body was doing. It was then that the muted sounds of the room's murmurs increased in volume and he was suddenly aware of everything.

"Sebastian?" Annette prodded gently and he looked at her blankly. Was she aware of what had happened inside of him? As Sebastian Valmont glanced back at his girlfriend, he wondered what had happened. The past months had flown by so quickly but why was it that now, time couldn't be fast enough?

"Annette." He began in a strangled voice, taking his hand from hers. Her crestfallen reaction made him feel guilty but he couldn't stand another moment of this. Still, he was concerned for the blonde and perhaps he owed it to her to try. This was just temporary; this was just what Kathryn does. Maybe if she wasn't in the same room he would return to normal and return to feeling for Annette what he did four months ago and the months in between.

"I'm sorry." He smiled and they left Manchester Prep.

For their fourth month, he took her to dinner at an expensive restaurant. The entire time she looked exuberant, her face glowing and smile brimming with happiness when she told him she loved him.

Sebastian remained almost silent, nodding and saying a word or two. He even squeezed her hand and complimented her on how she looked tonight, the realization that his anxiety didn't decrease now that they were alone made his nerves frayed. He felt stifled, still restless and had had to stop his knee from jiggling underneath the table.

What was happening to his new life? Had it become so readily monotonous that he was seeking for something he didn't even know?

There was another couple seated a few tables away from them and in his absentmindedness, his golden lashes moved slightly when his light blue eyes met that of an attractive young woman's who seemed to be about a year younger than them. She blushed and lowered her eyes demurely while her boyfriend surveyed the menu.

He felt it then, surging through his veins... That power of a hunter going about his prey, it was instantaneous and sudden, but it caused him to smirk at the pretty girl, using that patented lazy half smile to make her avert her eyes away from him. It wasn't as if he hadn't been checked out since he and Annette had started dating, in fact, the female attention increased when he became loyal to the blonde, but his adamant and persistent feelings for Annette had merely made it so easy to brush the girls off without a second thought.

A warm weight placed itself on top of his hand and he looked away from the blushing young debutante, immediately his mind when back to its mischievous ways, that scheming predator who had been previously hidden in a secret drawer at the back of somewhere inside of him was probably succeeding in clawing his way out.

Hm.. He wondered if the girl was a…

"Sebastian? Are you listening to me?" Annette's hurt voice caused him to jerk back and look at her guiltily, his full mouth turning up into an apologetic grin.

For their first month together, the night didn't seem to last long enough but was it possible… Why was it that now, it seemed like the time passed by extraordinarily slow?

When he drove her back to her house, they had stood on the porch with her arms wrapped around him and her head buried against his chest. He wondered if she heard his heart thudding wildly and sought to silence it by pressing his lips against hers. The kiss grew heated and she started giving off small moans that would normally have driven him to a lust and love driven passion.

"I can't tonight." She whispered in his ear when his hand cupped her breast. "My mother's coming to visit and I have to have breakfast with her tomorrow morning... I can't stay up long."

Sebastian slowly let her go and smiled reassuringly when she checked his face for any expression of disappointment. He hugged her tight and left, her murmured words replaying in his ear.

"I love you, Sebastian."

"Goodnight, Annette."

While he drove home, the anxiety lessened. Everything felt wrong somehow, and he knew why. Sebastian felt two kinds of hunger: the first kind he knew all too well and due to his past trysts with beautiful women, he knew exactly how to fulfill it, but the second one… It was difficult to understand it. He felt… Odd. Curtailed… Something… He needed something.

That night he brought a girl home, some pretty young thing he'd met at one of Blaine's parties. As they tumbled in his room, she grabbed handfuls of his hair while he peppered her face with small kisses. The clothing was shed and their bodies rubbed against each other sensually, his palm cupping her bottom while she grinded her hips against him.

"It's my four month anniversary with my girlfriend." He growled, his teeth gritted with concentration while she straddled him. He didn't know why he said it, but the girl's bright blue eyes gleamed in triumph. He squeezed her hips and she grabbed his arousal to penetrate her. They both groaned at the feeling of being inside another person and Sebastian licked his lips, pushing Annette out of his thoughts.

He needed release.

The guilt was there, but it was only to a subliminal degree.

"Ride me." He groaned, running his hands up and down her torso and the girl obliged.

"Happy anniversary, Sebastian." The girl half cried out in wanton need, her voice teasing and seductive. Her mouth was partly open, pale skin covered with sweat and small hands gripped his shoulders while she pumped up and down, back and forth, concerned with her own feeling of gratification that he was only too eager to fill.

"Sebastian, have you seen my—"

The door opened and he looked up to see Kathryn standing before them, her green eyes widening in shock at the girl who was obviously not his girlfriend. His bed partner looked affronted at the intrusion but Kathryn only looked her over before another look came upon her surprised features.

Sebastian's grip loosened on the girl and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Now everything was obvious, and he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before.

His chosen partner bore a light shade of brown hair.

No, no. Surely this was just a coincidence.

Kathryn turned and left without another word, closing the door shut.

"Was that your girlfriend?" The girl demanded and he flipped her over, sheathing himself inside of her fully and beginning a furious rhythm of thrusting, in and out, their skins slapped against each other and her moans filled the room.

He didn't bother explaining.

"Happy anniversary." He mumbled imperceptibly in her brown hair as he came.

Sebastian remembered that look on her face when he laid on his bed hours later, alone and sated for now. A month after she'd started giving him the silent treatment, his temper had snapped when she brushed past him for the tenth time and since he wasn't used to it and he knew that if he confronted her, he would only get a slap, he tried the next best thing.

He went inside her room when she was high.

_"What are you doing here?" _

_"I need to know something." _

_"What?" her eyes were glazed over and she was squinting at him. _

_"Those who opposed you and betrayed you, you went ahead with retribution. Court Reynolds, Cecile Caldwell… You held nothing back." _

_A knowing smile flickered over her lips, "You're curious as to whether or not I'm planning something then?" _

_"If you respect your opponent you should at least give him a fair warning." He replied, sitting across her on the bed and automatically pulling up the straps of her nightgown. _

_She looked at him then, curious and wondering. "Are you my enemy, Sebastian?" _

_He stared back, fearless and yet nervous at the same time. "You tell me." _

_In her altered state, she looked luminous and happy, her amused laugh not of mockery but of real clarity. At the sight of his grim face, she immediately sobered up and pouted like a petulant little child, running her hand through his hair affectionately. _

_"Soft, almost like my blanket." She whispered, her words jumbling into one. _

_He seemed to stop breathing. _

_She continued, trailing her fingers on his face, memorizing his features like she'd done the night they were together. "Warm, like a perfect summer day… Like our summers at the Hamptons. Do you remember?" _

_He felt his throat constrict. He did. _

_He remembered the rays of sun burning that pale skin deliciously golden brown, the long nights of drinking, and the automatic shifting of one's seat so as to accompany the other. Sebastian remembered the nights they were with other partners and how it never bothered them externally but perhaps… Perhaps inside they felt the smallest twitch of restlessness that permeated their cynical souls when they sensed the essence of another person on each other's bodies. _

_Perhaps… But he never could tell and it was time to stop trying to understand something that would never be allowed to be comprehended. _

_Her thumb caressed his full lips and it parted on its own volition, "Cold and warm at the same time…" she murmured more to herself, seeming to forget that there was another present in the room. Her hand trailed to his chest, placing it over his erratically beating heart. "Like this. Like you. You used to be all those things for me, now you're not." _

_He wasn't used to her talking like a child with all honesty. Her musings seemed to be to be directed to no one and he knew that she only talked this way around him in her drugged out moments. _

_"Don't hurt Annette." It was meant to be a threat but under her gentleness, it was more like a whispered plea. _

_Her hand dropped as though the mere mention of Annette's name scalded her skin. "Revenge, Sebastian, is meticulously planned… Every detail… Every moment… It's all a game I love to partake and indulge in. Those people you've mentioned and the countless others whom I had, in some ways, destroyed, their ruinations were planned with utmost pleasure. I imagined them night after night during the early stages of the manipulation, faces pleading for me to stop, to grant them the mercy I'm not capable of. I do it simply because I enjoy seeing them suffer, and take great pleasure in them… But you, dear brother…" her voice dropped down to a low volume. _

_"The answer to that mind boggling question you've presented is simple." She replied, looking at him. "I don't do things that don't give me pleasure." _

_His mouth dropped open and she turned away from him, yawning to herself while the drugs eventually made her groggy. _

_"I've said enough. Goodnight and never try to take advantage of my inebriated state again… I won't be so obliging next time."_

_

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**A/N: I think this is my favorite story for some reason… Why? Because it's actually already finished. All five acts are already written and I just add a bit every now and then. This is the first one wherein I know how it ends therefore I'm more organized and it's not a big tumble of twists and turns. **

**Unfeeling: Yes thank you for the first review! Yey! It gives me the jollies when I receive an FF Review Alert. Yes, and the fact that she's not out for blood is actually why I like this story above everything I've written. Even AIE. I like this better than AIE and BGA and everyfrickinthing. Hahahaha!  
**

**Babeekim: Aww dearie so you missed me? Well I've been busy as hell lately so I don't know about updating ALL of them. Just email me and I'll tell you how they end so you won't have to wait. Hahaha. **

**Nicole: Awww _anything _I write? So… if I write Blaine and Sebastian doing it you'll still read it and like it? Lol… But… ick. Don't worry that'll never happen. **

**Sophia: You know I like your name I've always wanted to use it in a story but it never happened. Perhaps one of these days though. Anyway, thanks for the good luck! I don't think it worked because I just got eaten alive by my stupid exam. Boohoo. I still have two more to go before I am ruled by freedom once again! **

**Celeste: Twice the review! Wow! I didn't know you read my other stuff though and because of reading your review I even went back to one of my unfinished fics but alas, I am in vain. **


	3. Act 3: Descent

**Act Three: Descent— **

_Nostalgia overcame him. _

_"What do you write in that thing?" _

_"Ways to overthrow your despotism and manipulation should we part ways." _

_Sebastian realized he had a gift of speaking that which is ironic. _

_Her presence threw him off balance while she attempted to grab his journal. _

_Her weight crashed against him and they fell ungracefully to the floor. _

_Who knew they would come crashing down in a year? _

_She smelled like vanilla and suddenly he wanted to taste her. _

_So he did. She gave in before pushing him away. _

_"Game over. You lose." _

_He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Game over indeed._

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_

Annette knew something was wrong with him.

He grew more standoffish day by day, his blue eyes no longer exuded with loving warmth but with forced smiles. Even Sebastian's movements were jerky at times, but his words were still the same. That he loved her back, he didn't regret anything, and that he was just tired and he wasn't angry at her.

The longer it took, the more he relaxed and the more he was like his old self again. Sometimes, she had a feeling that it was a false sense of security, there were times when he would get calls on his cell phone and he would talk differently. His replies were in quick, one word responses that sounded like a code... For what exactly?

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him quietly, unable to stand this any longer. He was propped up against the headboard of her bed, muscular torso cut from tanned perfection and eyes far off as he mused quietly. His mouth, that full red orifice she loved kissing, was swollen and enticing even though he didn't mean for it to be. It was slightly pursed while he stared vacantly at the single framed photograph of the two of them taken during their first few months together. He lay motionless save for the occasional twitching of his fingers against her blankets, almost as though he was writing something on the covers.

His curls had grown longer, turning into a darker shade of blond and those intense blue eyes unsurprisingly looking far off. He looked like an overgrown little boy, the angel from the forgotten Eden filled with the remnants of Eve's transgression. She once commented how he was even prettier than her and he had scowled before his eyes twinkled and carried a half heartedly protesting Annette to bed.

How things seemed so easy then…

When he didn't reply, her feeling of dread grew. Annette placed her head on his chest and took his hand, playing with his fingers the way he liked.

"Sebastian?"

Finally, he blinked and focused on her. At the sight of her sad expression, he gave a tired smile and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry." He seemed to say that a lot these days.

"For what?"

His fingers gripped the edge of the blankets and uncovered his body, turning from her. "I'm just tired, that's all. I think I'm going to go home."

Annette watched him drive off from her window, an inexplicable heaviness surrounding her as Sebastian grew smaller and smaller from a distance.

---

The sound of pages flipping filled the study as he took the cognac and filled his glass, his spectacles lay askew on the table and the crystal ashtray was filled with half finished cigarettes and another one was lit, emitting gray smoke and the scent mingling with the tangy smell of his drink.

There was a photograph taken three years ago that was placed between pages and he took it out, turning it over to read the inscription.

_Even a photograph shows that which we hide. _

He remembered that night of course, and it was by no means a masterful picture. It had been one of the many charity events and Tiffany thought it would look charming if Kathryn and her new stepsibling danced.

_"Kathryn, you're looking especially lovely tonight." _

_ She smirked, "Shut it, Valmont. You're not going to get any no matter what you say." _

_ He pulled her close, liking how her body pressed against his. _

_ "I'll be thinking about you when I fuck my date." He said mischievously, causing her to give him that infamous smile that he swore would be the end of him someday. _

_ Kathryn, in response, pulled his head while she whispered something in his ear. _

_ "You do that." _

One of the photographers covering the event had taken a picture of the two wealthy stepsiblings and had had it published in the society pages. When he saw it, he cut it out and inserted it in his journal, even Kathryn didn't know that he did it. The photograph was like a secret shown for the entire world yet nobody knew what it really stood for. It featured Kathryn smiling secretly in the middle of her whispered teasing message and it featured how his hands were tightened around her waist. It had been a peek into their private relationship and amusingly enough, everybody dismissed it as a close bond between the two stepsiblings.

"Don't you dare treat me like I'm some common slut you can bang and leave!"

He jumped at her screaming voice, instinctively standing up when a man returned her anger equally. They sounded as though they were only a few feet away from the door and even the thick wooden barrier between them didn't inhibit him from hearing at least muffled sounds of what sounded like fighting. His heart rate sped up when there was a loud crash and he heard Kathryn swore viciously, Sebastian's palms started to sweat and he knew she was the recipient of the blow. He longed to stand up, to open the door and beat the shit out of the man but he also remembered the last time he interfered in one of her fights. After he tried to threaten the man to leave, she had turned to him and stared him down angrily, her eyes spewing forth hatred, fire and brimstone.

_"Dead people don't come back to protect me."_

She'd hissed, brushing past him. He felt like he had been slapped and instead of feeling angry, he had gone inside his room instead. The man she'd been arguing with was forgotten and it was then that he'd learned later that the unfortunate fool met a not so accidental car crash that took out months of his life and the normal use of his right arm.

He should have remembered she could take care of herself, and as though proving him correct, there was the sound of a vase breaking and this time it was the man's pained cry that filled the air. Although by the time he recovered, his scream had filled practically the entire house and it filled the young blond with chills and almost a sense of foreboding. It was that sick bastard Brandon David, he knew there was something about that psycho that differed him from her other loser boyfriends who had been all talk.

He knew… He knew… Months separated from her and still he knew something was wrong.

The door slammed, signaling the Brandon's departure and it was only then that he sat down. A figure passed by in his peripheral vision and his voice, by its own accord, spoke up.

"Kathryn."

He hated how his voice sounded; he hated how it felt like addressing a stranger.

The footsteps stopped and backtracked and he found himself looking at her. She stood calmly in the doorway in her silk kimono robe tied loosely at the waist. It revealed her smooth skin and a hint of her breasts, the color of it a startling contrast to her mussed up brown hair and her green eyes. Her robe was a bit wrinkled and her face a bit red, but other than that, she seemed to have sustained no injuries.

It had been a while since they talked but talking with her again somehow soothed him. He took out a stick and placed it in his mouth, lighting it and offering it to her.

Surprisingly enough, she crossed the room and took the cigarette from him, taking a deep drag before her eyes flickered over to his journal. He knew it would be a bad idea to inquire about her boyfriend, because he knew what had happened the last time he tried to intrude.

"Reminiscing, Valmont?" Kathryn smirked, an eyebrow rising to cover the slightest waver over his assessing stare.

He didn't react to it and instead leaned forward. With rapt interest, Sebastian stared at Kathryn and felt the urge to know something, anything about her. He was hungry for her words, however scathing. He was hungry to hear her thoughts, her opinions, and he wanted to be included in her life again.

"How are you?" he asked quietly, barely blinking.

_Did he hurt you?_

She shrugged, flicking off the ashes from the burning end gracefully. "I've had better days."

He hesitated, "I heard you earlier."

He cursed her inwardly when she met his inquiry with a blank stare, "Like I said, I've had better days. It's hardly the first time you've heard me arguing."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, realizing that he had never been this nervous around anybody, not even Annette. And the fact that it was Kathryn who'd made him like this was a notion he couldn't understand. Had it really been that long since they had gotten along, had it been centuries since they knew each other idiosyncrasies, had eternity disguised itself in a matter of months?

"If he hurts you…"

She laughed like it was the most ludicrous joke he had ever said, "What? I'll let you know? Right. Go play house with Ms. Perfect, I can fend for myself thank you very much."

He flinched at her mocking tone, the knife of her sarcasm cutting through him when he foolishly looked at her.

Somehow, he knew, she'd notice the crumbling down of his newfound feelings for Annette. While she studied him curiously, he despised how she was masterful at hiding any sort of emotion because he wanted to know something real about her. The tip of the cigarette burned red as she took another drag, the smoke fleeing her lips.

"Fine." He said curtly, looking away.

"You miss me, don't you?" she answered, smiling slightly, the mockery forgotten. "You miss how I would fuck with your head or how I would tease you. You miss how I'd try to read that faggot journal of yours. You miss our games."

There it was, the moment of truth. What was he to say?

"At times."

At his admission, her smile left her and she ground the cigarette into the ashtray, standing up. Her face was closed again, returning to its aloof self.

"You don't get another chance." She told him, her eyes narrowing. "I made you understand that before you made your choice. Now you're going to live with it."

He grabbed her arm just as she was about to leave, causing her robe to slip off her shoulder, the sash suddenly becoming undone.

There was a large bruise on her ribs. It was the sort that had been there days before and he felt sick with realization.

"This wasn't the first time."

Kathryn gripped his arm in a vice like hold and the long sleeve dropped back to make her milky wrist visible. There was a rather bluish ring around it and she shoved him back.

"You don't get to play hero again, Valmont."

"Why do you stay with him?"

She looked away, "It pleases Mother for me to be seen with him. His mother is very influential and—"

"Bullshit!" he interrupted, examining her wrist roughly. "You wouldn't let him do this to you."

"I'm not." Kathryn retorted bitingly, the disdain clearly shown. "The one on my ribs was an accident and my wrists… We like it rough. _I _like it rough. You would know, wouldn't you?"

_"You're dead to me." _

_ A gasp. _

_ A moan. _

_ Stay with me. _

_ Fuck me. _

_ So soft… So soft…  
_

_ Harder. Faster. Deeper. _

_ We screamed at the world at the injustice of the moment. _

_ How wrong… How wrong… _

_ I want to kill you. I need to kiss you. One last… One last… _

_ Everything is released and warm. _

_ Goodbye. _

As soon as the door was closed, he placed his hands on his forehead and stared at the shriveled up cigarette as if it had all the answers to the world. His fingers touched the place where her mouth had been…

He had begun his descent back.

* * *

**A/N: Mkayyy… What shall I say? I'm happy because I ranked 5th out of those who took the qualifying exams for my majors… Yippee! I took the test with students older than me so from that perspective fifth isn't all that bad riiight? The exam concentrated on English and literature soooo yeah. Be proud of me! **

**Ocfan: Well… 2 more chapters left to pooost… Loved your analysis by the way… I thought I'd keep things simple with this one, you know? **

**Katie: Well, how does it feel to know what you know? Lol how do I come up with this shit? Well, I don't know either. All I know is that I haven't come up with anything good lately, thus the lack of updates. **

**Julie: I know I think we all need a break from the twists and turns of K/S fics once in a while. ;-) **


	4. Act 4: Unmasking

**Act 4: Unmasking— **

_Tiffany belittled her in front of the family. _

_Worthless. Incompetent. Why are you my daughter? Why aren't you better? _

_Kathryn smiled and apologized while her nails carved through her skin under the table _

_He saw how forced her pleasantry is. How angry his stepsister was. _

_Sebastian met her eyes. He was met with a dissonant gaze. _

_Later he went to her room unannounced. _

_She's screaming in her pillow. The object muffles her humanity. _

_Touching her shoulder, he feels a shock at the contact and she turns around. _

_The numbness is back. She's not in the mood, please fuck off. _

_"I'm not going to tell anybody, Kathryn." _

_Her frown softens but it stays nevertheless. He doesn't get kicked out._

_

* * *

_

It was month five and he was barely getting by. It wasn't a miracle that he survived this long, but it was still some sort of game between them that he considered. He wanted to prove the people wrong, that this was going to last and he would make it even if it killed him.

Annette smiled sweetly at him, her eyes shining in the darkness while he drove his prized car from their date. Her hand felt cold against his as the air whipped back her soft yellowed hair and commented about how he was in better spirits lately.

Did she really want to know how and why?

He had been fucking other women to get off.

As his cell phone rang, he quickly answered it, eager for any other means of distraction. What he heard caused his feet to feel like lead and he couldn't help it, the car swerved and Annette screamed, jerking to turn the wheel back just in time to avoid the oncoming truck.

He regained his senses and screamed an apology over the angry yelling, stopping her effectively with a single sentence.

"Kathryn's boyfriend just tried to rape her, okay?" he snapped, his shaking fingers grabbing a cigarette from the hidden pack he kept in his pocket. "I-I have to go there."

---

"Where's Kathryn?" it was the first question Sebastian demanded as he stepped inside the townhouse with Annette trailing behind him. She was surprised at the urgency and nervousness in his voice and at how his fingers clenched and unclenched. When the maid choked out a suitable response, he practically ran upstairs and Annette recognized the fear in her own heart.

He was shaking with anger and anxiety and worry, his ocean eyes sad and full of rage… Something wasn't right.

With a shaking, clammy hand, he opened the door and found Kathryn staring blankly out the window, her dress torn and bloody. There were smears of dried blood on her face and yet she paid no heed.

"Oh, God." Annette gasped and he cursed at her silently for breaking the silence.

Kathryn's neck craned and looked at them. Normally she would have screamed or threw something but this time, she appeared withdrawn. Broken somehow.

"Kathryn? Are you alright?" Annette spoke up timidly, the concern lacing her voice.

The brunette didn't reply and instead looked at Sebastian sharply, still saying nothing.

It had been months but he still understood. The desperate need in her eyes, the way her mouth was set, the way she clawed the wooden floor and the silent coldness in her stare. No matter how she appeared to be, she still didn't want others seeing her that way.

"Annette," Sebastian turned to her, realizing how confused she must feel right now. "I'm going to need to attend to my stepsister; the driver will make sure you get home."

He didn't even wait for her to reply. By the time he turned around, he had already forgotten about her presence.

Kathryn was still watching him, looking up like a little girl lost. He felt himself break at the sight of her shattered and walked cautiously towards her seated form. His mind swam with questions, what happened? What did asshole do? What did he get to do to her? Why couldn't she have fought back harder? She was the strongest person he knew…

"Leave." She rasped, cringing when he came closer.

The tightening in his chest grew at her sounding frightened, she never sounded like that. He wasn't used to her sounding like that, in fact, Sebastian would rather that she ignored him than for her to be that way.

"It's okay." He whispered, his mouth drooping down and his eyes narrowed in concern. "I won't leave… Kathryn, please."

Annette watched all this, transfixed at how slowly he treaded his steps so as not to alarm her. She watched how he looked fragile and determined at the same time, his handsome face contorted as though he were in pain and his arms outstretched towards her.

"It's okay…" he repeated gently, bending down to pick her up.

And Annette Hargrove watched, with an untold jolt deep inside of her, as the almighty Kathryn Merteuil who had been larger than life itself; cling on to Sebastian tightly while his strong arms brought her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and their chests were crushed together, legs splayed around his waist and he cradled her as though she were the most valuable thing alive.

"You're shaking." He noted worriedly, rubbing her back with his palms to create some sort of warmth. She didn't reply and instead burrowed her head deeper into his neck, her hands clenching and wrinkling his collar.

"Make her leave." Kathryn finally spoke, her throat sounded dry.

Sebastian turned around, still carrying Kathryn and his eyes met with Annette's. It was then that Annette Hargrove saw the truth in his eyes. His forehead bore worried wrinkles and there was so much more to the concern he was displaying especially when Kathryn tightened her hold again, looking like she wanted to disappear into him.

"Annette, I'll talk to you soon." He said. That was it. No apologies, no explanations whatsoever.

Annette waited for more, for an 'I love you' or a 'Goodnight', but there was none. Tears brimmed her large eyes and Sebastian knew that she knew. She wanted him to stop her from leaving, to explain that he was just worried about his stepsister and that he still loved her.

Silence.

As the heavy door slowly closed, she caught a glimpse of Sebastian murmuring something to Kathryn, holding her fiercely to him and looking like he would murder anyone who tried to hurt her.

And then there were two.

He let her hang on to him for as long as she wanted, never asking for an explanation of what had happened. The image of her screaming and writhing underneath her boyfriend while he touched her, the image of her usually in control being shattered and replaced by a helpless young woman enraged him. He held on to her tighter than she did to him, not wanting to think about that but all the same, it stuck to his head.

"Did he get to…?"

"No." she said, attuned to his line of thinking. "I-I called Blaine when he was trying to get in. The fairy managed to get him off me just in time along with his faggot football boyfriend. They're taking Brandon to the police right now… Well that or sufficiently beating the shit out of him."

"I'll kill him." Sebastian muttered darkly, rubbing his cheek against her forehead absentmindedly. Kathryn responded with a slight hum and allowed the frisson between their bodies to calm her down, the slight stubble on his cheek scratching and tickling her skin.

"Put me down now." She said after a few moments, sounding more composed. He complied, settling her down the bed.

"I'm staying here tonight." He almost demanded, knowing that probably she would ask him to leave now. "I'm not going to fucking budge if you make me leave, I swear that if you fight me on this I'll make sure you lose. You're in no condition to—"

Kathryn took his arm and he stopped talking as she pulled him to her.

"Just for tonight." She said softly, any trace of coldness wiped clean by the traumatic experience.

His thoughts were flying and his emotions were askew. She needed him tonight and he didn't want to be anywhere else.

* * *

** A/N: One... last... chapter... I do have to warn that the last chapter will give the rating a run for its money. Yes I'm branching out. Lol, I'm trying to not be shy when it comes to scenes such as that like I was in AIE (if you'll notice in Chapter 21. Right Katie? ;-D), so yeah, I don't want to have to have a limit when it comes to writing. Eh. Ignore me.**

**AnnLaw:Why certainly you may admire me again. And again. And again? Haha only kidding dearie but wow thanks for the review it really did make my day. I don't mind the 'popCORN' like you said I'm just glad that you like it, as for my writing well I have certain moments I'm just lucky that this came out so quickly and I had time to write. If you'll read the shit I wrote in the past... You'd turn green and throw up. I'm glad it will never see the light of day again. Lol as for the deep, dark and gorgeous bit that really made me smile. So this chapter's for you since you seemed to be eager for it, and btw, aren't deep, dark and gorgeous a way to write K/S fics? They're so melancholy and lusty and sarcastic. I love them. Hope the drool you've created while waiting has been cleared off for now and I'm craving for some strawberries myself... Oh well! Till the last part!**

**Sophia: Sorry for distracting you from your midterms it must be over now I hope you did well.**

**Ocfan: You despise me? WHYY? Haha just kidding. You know the thing I love about your reviews is that you give me your own analysis of how they're perceived. Yours is truly one of the many reviews I look forward to reading. Aww. Don't be shy. Bask in the compliment. Lol, but seriously, thank you. Hopefully I'll continue having your input in case more stories or chapters pop up here, I guess we'll never know right?**

**Katie: Imagine my surprise when I checked my mail to find out one from you. Pleasant surprise that is, it made for a good welcome back from my weekend away from home. I'll try to give you spoilers from Thoughts since like I said it might indeed take a while if you want. Let me know. ;-D  
**


	5. Act 5: The Awakening

**Act Five: The Awakening— **

_"Do you love me, Sebastian?" _

_He looked up from his newspaper and found her eyes looking at him intently. _

_"What brought this question on?" _

_Kathryn shrugged mischievously, letting him know that it was more of a game. _

_"Do you?" _

_"You know I do." _

_Her eyes twinkled in triumph and he scowled at letting her win. _

_"More than your moronic conquests?" _

_"More than you love sex and drugs." _

_He returned and was met with a real chuckle. _

_"That's saying a lot."

* * *

_

While she laid beside him in the darkness, they both never slept. Eyes of sea and eyes of jade stared at the shadows obscured in the room, their bodies warm from pressing against each other's.

Sebastian preferred the silence yet he wanted to talk to her, to claw his way back into her life and have things as they were before. His descent had led him right there, at that moment, and suddenly with them like this, at the way she breathed evenly and at the way her hand rested on his stomach, he knew this was where everything would end.

Her smile alone wouldn't be the end of him. She would.

But oddly enough, it was an end he wouldn't mind meeting.

"Who was she?" Kathryn finally said, looking at him. Her face faced his and the curiosity was alive again in her features.

The girl she'd caught him with. The one who possessed her hair and Annette's eyes.

"I don't know her name."

Her mouth pursed, obviously he had given the wrong answer.

"Were you pretending?"

As always, she was right on spot. He wanted to lie to her, because after all, he did have his dignity to keep intact. Yet the intimacy of the situation compelled him to tell the truth, and there was something in her eyes that moved him to ways not even Annette could.

"Yes."

She nodded, her cheek brushing against the soft pillow.

"Who was she?" she asked again.

He paused for a long time before answering. His hand stroked her lovely cheek, trying to clean off the blood and when he came upon her mouth; his eyes stared into her to let her know that he wasn't toying with her this time.

"You." He answered, still caressing her. "She was you."

If she was surprised by this, she didn't show it.

"I thought so."

"Kathryn…" he began, his heart so full with words and apologies.

"Yes?"

"I'm not leaving you again."

She rolled her eyes, taking his hand away from her. "I'm perfectly fine, Valmont. Don't worry, he _will_ be severely punished. You know that."

"I don't mean just that."

Her mouth opened and closed, looking like she wanted to say something more but opted not to.

"Oh."

Something about her hardened and suddenly she was all business again. Kathryn pulled away from him and headed to her closet, tearing off whatever clothing she had and looking for something. Pieces of nightgowns flew over her shoulder as she sought for the one she favored and she sounded angry again.

"I've changed my mind. Please fuck off right now, Sebastian." She said coldly.

He'd had enough. The last line had snapped, his veins have all simultaneously been pumped with adrenaline and his anger was enough to rival hers. Sebastian jumped up and ran to her, grabbing her arm and twisting her around to face him. His gaze was cold and unforgiving, yet they both knew it spoke of something contrary to coldness. It was hesitant warmth lingering beneath the depths of such a low temperature.

Her reaction was that of immediate surprise. Eyes of infinite jaded proportions slightly widened; a mouth of rose and softness slightly parting before sense and pride overtook her. Then she changed and morphed into the haughty monster she was raised to become. As Kathryn jerked her arm back, Sebastian persisted, tightening his grip hard enough to make her gasp. Her bones felt like they're about to pop under the intensity of it all.

"Why?" he asked, no, _demanded_.

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what?"

The fact that she could be so innocent of all this, that the possibility that she's genuinely flummoxed at his bizarre actions only enraged him more. Didn't she see? Didn't she know that instead of sleeping fitfully next to Annette while she was wrapped in his sheets, the virginal angel kept warm in the lair of Satan, he was straining to hear Kathryn from the other side of the room, realizing with heavy clarity that a few feet might as well be on the other side of the world? Didn't she know that he inwardly cringes when she brushes past him uncaringly even in their private moments without even starting or playing along with their deprecating banter?

"You're shutting me out!" he yelled to her face, uncaring if she recoiled. She doesn't. "I hate it! You're pretending I don't fucking exist!"

It must have been something in his voice, although he could never tell. His anger had made him forget, because now the wrath of everything concerning Kathryn's treatment of him was overtaking him. Despite the destructive turn, something about him caught her attention. Was there a slight crack in his reply? Was there the tiniest flaw in his argument? In his expression? Did his shoulders slump?

Whatever it was caused him to feel out of himself while she touched his cheek, cupping his jaw line with the palm of her small hand. Her skin is summer, her heart a never ending winter. Her world autumn and her thoughts fall, everything about her happens simultaneously and the four seasons collide to create the chaos and beauty that was her. He felt lightheaded under her touch, the seducing heat of evil emanating from her and onto him. When their eyes met, he realized she was staring intently at him and understanding all that he kept within.

"You can't have it both ways. It doesn't work that way and you know it."

"I'm supposed to love Annette, but this thing between us…"

"There's nothing." He was interrupted by a sharp cut that only results to the bleeding of rationality and irrationality alike. "There's nothing between us, Sebastian. It was just a bet. You said so yourself."

Bet.

_"Oh come on, Kathryn, it was just a bet." _

"I never meant it."

"Yes, you did. You know you did, Sebastian. Don't lie to me, don't you fucking dare try to sugarcoat everyfuckingthing that had happened. You left me for her, it's crystal fucking clear, Valmont. You love her. You love her more than you love me, I told you that once remember? What did you say? You didn't reply. What did that silence mean?"

"I thought I did, okay?" he retorted bitingly, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Well, yes, I meant what I said at the time! But things change!"

Kathryn shook her head, "No. You're just bored with her now. You're looking for the next conquest to quench your thirst for something new; well I'm not going to be one of them. I refuse to be another entry in that fucking journal to be sneered and mocked at."

"That's not true. You were never like any of them."

She laughed softly, "I wasn't? Tell me, Sebastian, what exactly did you do to me after we fucked?"

He looked away.

"You fucked me then you left me to go to the next unfortunate twit, didn't you? Well, isn't that what you did to the others?"

He closed his eyes and saw her again, naked and raw in her abandon, the passion that of all the poetry written from the turmoil of the writer's soul possessed clothing her in its sensual embrace. They were joined not only in their consummation but through their eyes, connected in a long adieu. Their voices were strangled and hoarse but still quiet and discreet, the various moans, pants and groans suppressed but the physicality of the act was not. He had kissed her mouth, tasted her tongue and licked her skin. She had ridden him as though he were the only way to a place of peace and free of the hypocrisy from the world she sought to please. The sweet friction created by their young bodies soundless in its course, but there was no denying the tightness of her hold on him. After his mouth had stung from kissing, Kathryn had buried her head in his neck, squeezing tighter while she grinded against him in a leisurely pace.

_"Goodbye." _

Blue eyes opened and it was still her he saw, standing before him and acknowledging his confusion but not making an effort to relieve it.

"Do you really want it to be this way?"

"You chose it!" she hissed, slapping him in fury. "I warned you! I warned you of the consequences! I warned you that you'd lose me!"

"I know but why did you have to act like this? It's driving me insane!"

"Why? Why? What do you want me to tell you?" she yelled, shoving him. "That that night was the best thing I ever did? That it was my biggest regret as well because I let you have me? You want me to tell you that I hated myself for not hating it at all, or would you like me to tell you about how I've envisioned elaborate plans to break you and your slutbag whore girlfriend up just so things would be as they were before? Well, it's not! It will never be as it was because you destroyed it! What else do you want to know? That I couldn't go through with it because I couldn't fuck you up? No, Annette, I could have easily destroyed, but you! You fucking, insolent bastard!"

"Kathryn…"

"If I'm not going to be in your life the way I was, I don't want you to take part in my life either! You're dead to me now!

Sebastian grabbed a hold of her and pulled her close, startled to realize that she was shaking.

"You're like a drug, Kathryn." He murmured in her hair, "Tell me a secret. Tell me how to give you up."

She struggled against him roughly, "You already have."

"No."

He placed his mouth on her, kissing her with all the fervor he felt at that instant. She pushed and clawed at him and his skin stung from her nails but the pain was mingled with the feeling of warmth on her lips that it made for the pain. She didn't respond to the kiss and only fought harder, finally succeeding when she dug her nails into his neck and drew blood in the process.

He was rewarded with a sharp slap on the face from Kathryn, her chest was heaving and her face flushed.

"Bastard." She snapped, slapping him again to hurt him more.

They stared at each other, breathing heavily.

The tension was thick, he wanted to apologize but his pride kept him from doing so and she wanted to keep her pride by rejecting him but something… She didn't know what it was about him, whether it was the way he looked at that instant, whether it was the way her nails had scratched that irritatingly handsome face of his, whether it was the fact that he looked remorseful and aroused and ashamed all at the same time, but she found that she couldn't.

Just say it, Kathryn.

Tell him to leave.

Tell him there was no going back. Tell him he's not worth the trouble. Send him off the way you did before, mock him for his weakness even though this weakness of his turned out to be you. Have someone else fill you up; fill you to the brim so you can dispel your hatred towards him by torturing him like that.

He'd be hurt.

You'd be getting your revenge.

Who would be happy?

And as Kathryn searched her troubled self for an answer, it became quite clear as the bright blues of his eyes contrasting the expanse of tanned smooth skin she found velvety to touch.

No one.

No one would be happy.

This time it was she who lost her control.

"Why can't I hate you?"

With that, she attacked and they kissed, exploring each other's contours heatedly. He felt so full and warm at the same time when he was with her. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she moaned in agreement and their tongues met and made love into their own unity, she slipped her hands under his shirt and scratched his pectorals before slipping inside his pants.

He sought to please her, to touch her and make her feel the way she was arousing him. He began to leave her mouth and place moist kisses down her neck, undoing her bra with one expert flick. As she started to stroke his girth, he hardened more and more under her touch.

"Sebastian…"

There was something about the way she said his name…

He took her breast and gently kneaded it while he slammed her against the wall; she could only give a small groan of encouragement and recognized that they both had the feral and raw need to be inside of the other. Placing his thigh between her knees, he heard his belt buckle and somehow his pants were gone.

"Tell me again." She moaned when he started rubbing her moistened slit through the fabric of her underwear. He didn't know whether or not to keep on looking at her or to pay attention to the enticing hardened nipples that begged to be suckled because he didn't think she was aware of just exactly how beautiful she was at the moment. Her face was flushed red and her eyes darkened with desire and half shut, now she had started to rub herself against his thigh and he gasped at the feeling of her wet sex rubbing against his bare skin.

"I'm not leaving you anymore."

"Never?" she whispered, ripping off his shirt and tossing it to the floor carelessly.

"Never." He responded, meaning it entirely.

She started to reply but her words were turned into a low hum when she felt a warm mouth encase one erect nipple. His tongue laved the hardened bud, biting it gently before soothing the slight stinging with his sucking mouth.

"Oh, God…"

"Not a god." He replied, his middle finger inserting inside the wet cavern. "And most certainly not a saint."

"Sebastian…"

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say my name like that." Sebastian returned, paying attention to the other neglected nipple, his pink tongue swirling around the surrounded areas. Upon finding a particular spot he liked, he sucked on it hard enough to leave a mark and grinned when she arched her back towards him. His finger found a soft area behind her pubic bone and he drew an S on it, almost making her come in the process.

As he repeated this, she gave little purrs and brought his face back up to kiss again, and how he had missed kissing this… this… conundrum. She practically dripped against his thigh while she continued riding him; the feeling of their skin rubbing against each other only increased the ferocity of the moment.

"No more games." She whimpered when he concentrated on the soft spot that drove her wild. "You. Inside. Now."

He decided to tease her, he wanted her to lose control and it wasn't everyday he saw her eyes glazed over and her pretty mouth red and swollen from kissing him.

"But I'm having fun as it is." He complained, causing her to glare at him dangerously.

"NOW!" she yelled just as he thrust another finger and started pumping it, his fingertips brushing against her spot. "I swear! If you don't fucking do it right now…"

His erection sprung free from the confines of his boxers and with a guttural moan, but before he could penetrate her, Sebastian felt her grab his face, peering at him in a warning, cautious glance.

"I'm not looking for a savior or for redemption. I'm not some fucking charity work, I'm not some misunderstood poor little spoiled princess to amuse yourself with. I'm Kathryn fucking Merteuil, don't you ever, ever feel sorry for me. Do you understand that?"

It was clear that she wanted him to realize and comprehend it, to place it to memory and he nodded silently, leaning in her cupped hands.

"You don't need to take care of me." She replied in a low voice, "Tell me you know that."

He smiled a little, the closed mouth smile of his that melted her icy exterior into warm water.

"I know I don't need to."

And then he kissed her bruise, the one on her right cheekbone. His lips barely brushed the skin when the warm air came out of his mouth as he spoke again.

"But I want to. Don't hold it against me."

He sheathed himself inside of her. They both gave a slow, delicious hiss at the feeling of warmth and hardness adjoined.

"So tight…" he groaned, kissing her neck when her muscles clenched around him. "So perfect."

He grabbed her buttocks and squeezed the firm globes, lifting her up. She wrapped her thighs around him, hooking the bottoms of her feet into his back while he drove into her in quick, successive strokes. By then they were too breathless, too tired to kiss or play or explore each other's physical attributes, no, they concentrated on their joining. Kathryn had her forehead on Sebastian's and watched the firm concentration on his face, noting how he bit his bottom lip and how he appeared and disappeared inside of her, his hardness encased with their combined fluids.

"Welcome home." She said, looking at him directly.

At this, his eyes met hers and he smiled that smile of his that warmed her. He continued plunging into her, this time the pressure building up between them threatened to stop this passionate fusion and so he changed his rhythm, wanting this to last. He slipped and returned at a slower pace, angling it to hit the places that made her weaken beautifully, he loved how red she was and how she met him halfway. Perhaps the question as to why he had forsaken her would never be logically answered, but what he did know was that he was back, and that was what mattered. Never again would he stray from this, never again would he leave her.

"Just like that… Fuck… Fuck… OhgodSebastian…"

"Missed you…" he answered as his words came out in tight, heavy exhalations. "Kathryn… Fucking hell…You skin… Your taste… How could I have… I'm… Right here… Ah…"

The paintings that hung nearby clattered as the force that joined them grew in intensity and fervor, their lips brushing across each other's bodies, any part gave them a searing heat that only seemed to strengthen and renew their vigor. At one time he seemed like he was about to give in right there but it was suddenly dampened when he seemed to slam her against the wall too hard and she winced. He immediately stopped, breathing hard but almost kicking himself. She was injured, almost raped oh fucking hell what had he done?

"Oh, fuck… Are you alright?" he asked worriedly, peering at her and fighting back the urge not to kiss her when she looked so damn beautiful all flushed and aroused like that. "I'm sorry I forgot that…"

"Shut it." She smiled, contracting her inner muscles to clamp around his length and using her thighs to push her hips up and down. His eyes rolled back and all coherent thoughts fled his mind save the fact that Kathryn really was amazing.

"I need you." he gasped when she tightened her muscles around him again, "Kathryn, I…"

The compelling force that had been accumulating in his repeated thrusts exploded and it was apparent that she felt that way too. They simultaneously locked eyes and kissed, their screams of released drowning into the other's mouth and dueling tongues. Kathryn slumped against him, breathing heavily while he held her close, his own breathing not at all normal. Her legs slowly unwrapped around him and he carried her to the bed, kissing her forehead.

"Is the naughty vixen tired already?" he said in a deep, whispered tone that would have melted the most frozen of hearts. He nuzzled her damp neck with his nose, hiding his smile when he felt her hand play with his hair and heard her give a slight moan for her reply. "Though I don't know it, I probably missed you ever since we were separated. I don't even care that you're tired when you usually have a rather vigorous appetite for sex; you look so fucking perfect right now… Just here… Just us… This is how it's going to be."

Her eyes opened and she shot him a naughty, impish grin.

"Tired? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? I bet I can even outlast you."

To prove her point, she reached down and stroked his already hardening sex while licking his jutted out lower lip, her sparkling green eyes full of vibrancy.

He gasped when she started poking the tip at her damp entrance, giving a loud groan before capturing her mouth with his again.

"You're one of a kind." He said when they broke apart, fighting the urge to roll his eyes back at the pleasuring of her hand on him. "I do hope you know that."

She smiled mischievously at his reaction only to have that smile wiped off clean when he started attacking her pebbled nipples with renewed fervor. "Ah… You're not playing fair…"

He pinched her swollen sex before inserting two fingers into her, noting the slippery friction between the two. He knew where a woman liked to be touched and pleased with his vast experience in the department and now he was quite thankful of that fact because a loud mew escaped her lips, biting her lip and pulling his head closer to her chest.

"Well whatever game you're playing, Valmont…" she moaned, wetting her lips. "I don't care… That feels so good."

Sebastian froze and slowly pulled away from the breathtaking brunette in front of him, frowning slightly. His handsome features turned into a serious look and he stared intently at her.

"This is not a game." He said in all honesty, "Whatever happens here tonight in this room… It's real. At least for me. This is more than sex…" He murmured against her neck, starting to nibble and suck at random parts which turned pale red when his mouth left them. He stuck out the tip of his tongue, briefly flickering over her hardened nipples before letting his tongue trace a line down her stomach. Kathryn gasped when he realized where he was headed and gripped the blankets tightly, fighting the need to be touched everywhere all at the same time by Sebastian.

"Definitely something more than lust as well…" he punctuated his point with a love bite on her inner thigh, the musky scent of her fluids reaching his nostrils. "… More than passion…" he wiggled the tip of his finger at her opening, wetting his lips when she whimpered. "…More than any emotion that could be comprehended."

His nimble fingers caressed the pink rose petal skin glistening under the dim lights and parted it because taking a long lick.

"Because what we are to each other… it's beyond understanding." He blew softly into the heated, soft lips and she bucked her hips towards him, aching for more.

"Oh… Fucking hell… I'm not going to last if you keep doing that."

"Doing what?" he questioned innocently, thrusting his tongue as deep as he could and twisting it around her molten core while she writhed against him. His fingers eventually joined his tongue and Kathryn desperately grabbed his shoulder, wanting to feel him, to feel any part of him in her hands.

"That!"

"You're right…"

His tongue swirled faster and she gave a loud scream.

"Sebastian, I'm about to…"

Her voice trailed off and her eyes grew large when she felt his member replace his tongue and fingers, slipping easily into her. Instead of quickly pumping in and out, he filled her to the brim and leaned into her, going deeper than he'd ever been.

"I don't know what this is, if it's serious or if it's just some momentary lapse." He gave her a chaste peck on her soft lips while she sighed at the feeling of being filled by him. "But I like it."

"You talk too much."

His blue eyes twinkled as he winked at her. "Just making up for lost time."

"Yes, well." She huffed impatiently, staring down where they joined. "If you continue doing that I'll give you more time to lose by kicking you out of—"

He shut her up effectively.

"Oh, shit Sebastian… Sebastian…" she panted when he started building up the pressure of heat inside their bodies. Her eyes shut tightly as the warm feeling inside her stomach turned into a scorching fire that only increased at his continued thrusts. It seemed like he knew what she wanted and what she needed before she told him, because just as she was about to reach out and grab him, his arms left her waist and met her halfway. He looked at her, their hands touching palm to palm and fingers curling into the spaces between. When she nodded silently, he pushed her arms gently back so they rested on the mattress, hands still holding while his hips pushed against her slowly. It was as if he knew she was about to release the pent up heat inside her body and angled it so that it would hit her spot.

Her absence from his life only made him realize that he did in fact need her after all. That thing with Annette had been an illusion and a dream and now he was back where he was meant to be. When they both arrived at the highest steps of bliss for the second time that night, it was this time he who collapsed on her, feeling like he had run out of oxygen and was on the verge of dying. He felt her arms around him, not at all complaining at his weight. His cheek touched the pillow and her sex felt warm and hot encasing his own spent member, but it wasn't that feeling that came to his attention at that time.

It was her words and the combined feeling of elation that bubbled up in his soul, never did he even think that this would happen, he didn't think that she would be able to do this to him, to bring forth such thoughts and make him think of saying so many words and yet at the same time not be able to say it because he didn't want to destroy such a silent, intimate moment between them. She was the one who held him this time, their bodies covered with sweat and their arms wrapped around each other.

"Promise me." She murmured in his ear.

He propped himself up and looked at her.

"I do. I'll give you everything you want. I'll fuck up whoever hurts you… I'll give you the world and we'll tell it to go fuck itself together. I'll never leave you again."

She smiled her secret smile and he knew that things would be different from now on. He fell asleep with her curled against him, and before he dozed off, he remembered trying to fight the grogginess. He remembered watching her as she slept, he remembered noticing about her things had been different the last time they were in bed. Back then he had watched her sleep too, only her eyes would periodically shut tight and her fists would clench, wrinkling the blankets. She had whispered a 'Fuck you' to him when she thought he'd been asleep and then turned away from him, her petite body curling into a ball.

Now was different. They were different. Now, she wore an expression of utter blankness, sated, contented and… Dare he say it?

Happy.

Sebastian remembered how something had beaten unnaturally faster when she reached out slipped her fingers through his.

He remembered smiling before allowing sleep to overtake him.

He remembered these things well, every detail, every word, every heightened sensation… He would remember it even as the days would bleed into one…

Then… The blankness of slumber.

"Open your eyes." Came a whispered voice to his right hours later, raspy yet undecidedly the sexiest one he'd ever heard. When his lips twitched into a ill-hidden grin, his skin tingled and that odd fast beating inside his body returned again as soon as he felt a warm body against him, pressing and cuddling against him in such a manner that he usually hated because it stifled him. But no, not this one. With this one he would never be able to get enough.

"Kathryn?" Sebastian said sleepily, the irrationality of a newly wakened (and therefore fuzzy) mind robbed him of his common sense but what if… What if the woman beside him would turn out to have eyes of blue and hair of gold? What if it was just another torment sent to him by the gods who favored Kathryn and supported her ostracizing of him?

"It's me." She replied in amusement. "Who did you think it was? Unless you slipped out of bed last night and went to someone else…"

The beating grew faster and finally, Sebastian opened his eyes.

* * *

**A/N: So… What do you think? I've already started the next short thing; I think I like stories like this better. I'm becoming fond of exploring their personalities as opposed to plots filled with action and intriguing other characters. I wasn't supposed to post this but I already started work on another one… And you're all thinking: (WHAT! ANOTHER ONE! FINISH THE OTHERS FIRST YOU CRAZY GIRL!) **

**Ocfan: Wow I was really surprised when you emailed me when you couldn't read the story here on because awww that's just sweet. Yeah, it was nice to hear from you, like I said in the email. And about that CI writers thingie, well you're not really missing out on much mainly because we really don't talk a lot in there. Oh, if you have questions or whatever, you can just email me if you want. **

**Cman: Wow, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. :D **

**Keri: Omg she's back! And she's written a new fic, which I love by the way! Well I don't know if that review I posted for your new story came out since it had some sort of glitch before but yeah, I missed you! Write more! **

**Katie: I know I promised spoilers but you promised an update so tough. Lol, but um, like a million times over, thanks for the feedback and for the birthday greeting as well. I feel generous when I posted this since I'll be getting my (advance birthday gift) tomorrow! Yippee!) Yes, I'm materialistic despite the impression of being philosophical I sometimes show in my fics. Hahaha!**

**CT Ash: Wow belated happy 19th birthday! Someone my age! Well, this chapter will have to serve as a suitable gift. Thanks for the greeting, it was really nice of you.  
**


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